Finding Christmas Peace
Friday November 26th arrived in a blast of cold air. The wind started at about 2:30 in the morning. Kate heard the wind howl under the eves of her home and snuggled deeper under her four layers of heavy winter quilts. She drew heat from both the quilts and her husband’s sleeping form. He was deep in sleep with no cares in the world. His snore was soft, his body relaxed and still. It was good to know that at least one of them could get some rest during this time of year.
Kate had four weeks until the “Big Event”. She knew she needed to rest and gather strength, but her mind would not stop. She looked at the clock, 2:32 it glared in bright red. The two minutes between when she first heard the wind and now had been wrought with anxiety. There was so much to do and so little time. Kate hadn’t even been able to enjoy Thanksgiving Day to its fullest because she was already thinking ahead to Christmas. Friday would begin early. Kate, like the hundreds of other deal seekers, would wake up at the crack of dawn, dress and rush out of the house to “beat” the crowds to the mall. Kate smiled ruefully as she thought about beating the crowds. What a joke to think that she would beat the crowds, instead she would be part of the after Thanksgiving crowds rushing their way into holiday shopping.
Restless now, Kate switched to what she thought would be a more comfortable position. The clock now read 2:34 and Kate was no closer to sleep. After the shopping there would be the baking, wrapping, decorating and planning. A small pain began forming at the bottom of Kate’s neck.
“Why do I do this every year?” Kate wondered as she again changed positions. “I don’t even enjoy Christmas anymore.”
The wind had picked up in the few minutes since Kate had awakened. The house seemed to shudder as the wind shot through the eves and whistled under the single pane windows. Hearing the wind caused Kate’s anxiety to rise, thus causing her pain to progress from the bottom of her neck to the center of her head. She moved yet again, hoping to relieve some of the self-induced headache pressure.
“How can he sleep?” Kate questioned as she looked at her husband. But of course he could sleep. All he had to worry about was filling her stocking and making sure the lights were on the tree. She, on the other hand- oh it was no use thinking about how much she had to do. What she needed to do right now was sleep. Looking once more at the clock it read 2:39. Why couldn’t time move faster? Her thoughts were pouring in -one hundred by the second, yet the time was slowing to a snail’s pace. She switched positions yet again, this time her husband laid his hand across her back as if to impart his rest to her.
Glaring at him, Kate moved away from his proffered rest. Maybe she should give him all the items on her holiday list. Maybe then he would feel her anxiety and understand what it took for her to pull off Christmas. 2:41 the clock screamed.
Oh why can’t I sleep? This is cruel, I have so much to do and I need my sleep! Kate silently cried. She lay still, trying not to think, but unbidden thoughts continued to assault her. “God make it stop!” Kate whispered. Then the light went on. God! Yes He could make it stop. Kate began imploring God in silent prayer, “Lord forgive me for focusing on the things of Christmas, rather than the object of Christmas- You. Please God, help me keep my focus on You rather than my list.” Boy I hope they have that sweater that Kirsten wants. I wonder if the motorcycle pants will be on sale for Timothy? Wait, I’m supposed to be praying.
“Sorry God, I want to keep my thoughts on you. I pray that you will be with us through this Christmas season. Help us stay safe as we shop.” Maybe I’ll be able to find dad’s coffee and mom’s sweater at the same place! That would save me some stops.
“God, please keep those safe who will be traveling this holiday season. I pray that you will be with my brother, help him in finding a job. Be with my friends. Give them the rest they need during this season.” Kate could feel her eyes getting heavy. Perhaps sleep would again reclaim her body. Just before falling into a restless sleep filled with crowds in a mall, Kate sneaked a peek at the clock, 2:51.
Is this Christmas scenario familiar to anyone else? I have often wondered why we put so much pressure on ourselves during Christmas. Sure the parties are great- I love going to my husband’s work party. The decorating absolutely gets us into the holiday mood. But is it necessary? What would happen if we changed our focus from the lists and gift purchasing to a young teenage girl and her fiancé?
Let’s put ourselves in their shoes for just a moment. Joseph and Mary were to wed. They were each preparing for this event when an angel visited them, separately. The angel gave them life-changing news: Mary was going to bear a child and they were to name Him Jesus. How does that compare to our lists?
Joseph’s world crashed. His virgin bride was pregnant, which in his understanding meant she obviously had been with someone else. So he did the honorable thing- he made plans to in essence divorce her, so as to keep both of their honor intact.
Mary’s world, on the other hand, became a testimony on how to handle life-changing news. Luke 1:38 says Mary accepted the news of her pregnancy with these words, “Here I am, the Lord’s bondslave. Let it be with me as you say.“ What???
Can you even imagine saying “Let it be with me as you say”? Okay Lord, my husband lost his job, “Let it be with me as you say”. We can’t afford as many gifts this year. “Let it be with me as you say.” One of my parents unexpectedly died and Christmas won’t be a celebration without that parent. “Let it be with me as you say.”
I understand that shifting focus is hard and I am not saying that we should go without the parties and purchasing and decorating. Instead, I am saying that while we are doing those things we need to make a conscious effort to keep the right focus. When the sleepless nights come, think of the young Mary. When we begin to feel overwhelmed with the lists, remember that Jesus came into the world in a barn, not a palace. When joy eludes us call to mind the angel chorus and the lowly shepherds. This Christmas, focus on Jesus, rather than events and things and find laughter when you experience a different outcome than last year.
May your Christmas be peaceful. May your celebrations be joyful. May your thoughts be focused.
Merry Christmas
