Moms Together Newsletter- September

September 10, 2008

 

 

An authentic friend is hard to find, consider yourself blessed if you have found one.  My daughter started kindergarten this year.  As she lined up at the flag pole on the second day of school I prayed “Lord Jesus, please allow Kirsten to make a new friend today.”  I remember praying for a friend for my son when he started kindergarten, but I don’t remember feeling the deep burden like I felt for my daughter.  I believe that burden I felt reveals something very unique to the female make up: We women desire a friend who loves us authentically and knows us intimately.   

          The word authentic is an adjective, a descriptive word meaning “not false or copied; genuine; real” (dictionary.reference.com); not an easy definition to live up to in our culture.   Authenticity requires a Keepin’ It Real outlook and attitude.  We have to be willing to allow others to see our not so pretty side and be open to truth that may not feel so good. 

          I have four friends with whom I am able to be authentic and Keep It Real.   I’ve been friends with two gals for almost 20 years, and two for almost seven.  Recently I divulged a hurt that then revealed an ugly, bitter side of myself.  Rather than sympathize with me, my two seven year friends challenged me on my bitterness and encouraged me to not let the bitterness rule.  They heard what I had to say, but drew me up to what God would have me do.  Their words didn’t feel good.  As a matter of fact, they hurt a bit because I didn’t want to do what they challenged me to do.  However, I knew that they were right.  Because all four of my girlfriends and I have taken the risk and made a personal vow for Keepin’ It Real, we are able to participate in an authentic relationship/friendship.  Our friendships are built on who we really are, rather than our image.

          Intimacy and authenticity in friendship are a risk and require courage.  Dee Brestin, Author of Friendships of Women tells of taking a risk when she moved to a new town.  Because she didn’t know anyone, she decided to go to Bible Study Fellowship.  Due to rain, she arrived late and wet to the first study.  After looking around, she noticed a gal towards the front of the church.  Dee decided to risk and walked down to sit next to the gal.  However, the friendship didn’t start right there.  As a matter of fact, after a few failed attempts at starting a conversation with the gal over a several day period, Dee was ready to give up.  But, God stepped in and Dee and her husband visited the gal’s church.  Upon entering, the gal called out to Dee and they became fast friends, the type that immediately connects and bonds.  They have taken risks and unveiled things in their lives, and their friendship has deepened over the years because of it. 

          Intimacy and authenticity in friendship require time.  Some friendships get right off the ground and you are able to connect with one another deeply by sharing fears, sorrows, triumphs and deep questions.  Other friendships take time.  Some gals are just not ready to open up, but they so desire that connection, that desire to Keep It Real in their life.  If we are willing to give the time, I believe the Lord will bless us with a true friend, or even two!

          Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity.” (the message)  Friendship is a two-way street.  There are times to listen and times to share.  There are times when we support and times when we are supported.  However, if we don’t allow ourselves the freedom to unveil fears, sorrows and triumphs, we won’t get in on the blessing of friendship. 

Our theme for Moms Together this year is Keepin’ It Real.  Ladies, we are in this mom-thing, this wife-thing, this female-thing together, but how many of us feel alone?  It is the leadership team’s hope that you will embrace the theme of Keepin’ It Real this year.    Take that theme to the table beside you.  Have you taken time to get to know gals from the neighboring table? Have you taken a risk to get to know someone new?  Have you been authentic with the friends you already have?  This month I encourage you to put Proverbs 17:17 to work.  Love your friend at all times- good and bad, and allow yourself to be loved back.  Pour love and authenticity into someone new this month and let us know how you were blessed by following God’s word.   

 

 

TAKE HOME:

 

1.  Reflect on Proverbs 17:17.  How have you allowed yourself to get beyond the “I’m fine” phase of a friendship when asked “How are you?”

 

 

2.  What is one way for you to “love at all times”?

 

 

3.  Who did you take a risk with to develop a friendship and how has it brought you closer to them and to Jesus?

 

 

4.  What is one way you are Keepin’ It Real in your life?